I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.

Here is something about me: the key to my heart is through double penetration.

Wait. How can I not make this sound horrifying?

Hmm. Ok. I _love_ double penetration. I rarely attempt DP on my own. But when a boy puts fingers or toys or cocks or some variation thereof inside of my cunt and my ass at the same time, I am transported to a magical world akin to those print ads for ice cream where a woman is diving into a sea of chocolate.

I am in heaven. It delights me in every way- physically, psychologically, emotionally… I love feeling so full, love feeling so attended to and possessed and filled by someone else. My mind turns off and I smile and every breath becomes a moan and my eyes roll back in my head. I _love_ double penetration.

When one of my favorite companies, Spareparts Harnesses, came out with a harness intended for DP, I fainted. Then I came to, squealed, begged Babeland for a Spareparts Deuce Harness to review, and promptly fainted again when they said yes.

yes yes yes YES YES YES

Intended Audience

The harness is intended for a cisbodied man to use. The package actually states that it is not intended for 2 dildos, which is a super big shame. I would love to hear about any cisbodied women who have tried it- I imagine it would work just fine? There is a pouch system which has a soft pouch and stretchy cock ring on the bottom for him, and then a separate pouch and firmer ring for a toy on top. (Note that the presence of the top pouch prevents pubes from being pinched by the toy- genius!)

[EDIT: For more ideas about using this with two dildos or using it as a super awesome helper for folks with erectile dysfunction or for fun ideas about how to use this in fun, kinky ways not mentioned in this blog post, go check out my idol Dr. Ruthie's awesome review for the Deuce!]

Packaging (heh.)

The toy comes in a totally beautiful matte black box that is not emblazoned with any logos, so it can be re-used. Inside is your harness and a very nice black zippered bag. Though the outside packaging claimed that instructions were included, I did not have any included with my harness. Luckily, I already have the Spareparts Joque harness and knew how the straps worked, and the rest was common sense. As should be the case with all sex toys (but often isn’t,) Spareparts also makes the directions available online here. The zippered bag has a strange double-compartment inside with buttons. I have no idea what this is about. Carter couldn’t figure it out either. He pointed out that it would be awesome if this harness came with a lingerie bag, as many men (the intended audience for this product) don’t already own one. The Deuce Harness is awesomely machine washable, but should definitely be washed in a bag so the straps don’t get caught and stretched or ruined. Everything I’ve ever gotten from Spareparts has been super high quality and well-made. I am so in love with them.

Structure

SO. The harness! It comes in 2 sizes. It’s very comfortable and very adjustable. It has this really brilliant system of tight sliding straps for long-term adjustment and sturdy velcro for easier on-off action. The fabric part is sturdy and smooth. It has no pinchy bits or rough spots.

Carter said the ring felt a little uncomfortably small around this cock but that it wasn’t a huge deal. He’s also on the larger side, so this might not be an issue for everyone.

omg Talk about the boning already.

Well. We talked about positioning a lot. Since Carter is big and we are relatively new to each other and reading each others’ signals, we decided it would be wisest to face each other for our maiden voyage with The Deuce. This meant that Carter would need to go in my ass and the toy would need to go in my cunt. He chose a dildo that was wide with a very wide base and is shorter than his cock. We figured this would prevent unintentional cervix-ramming.

He warmed me up- a _lot_- and lubed up the toy and his cock. Getting him in was a little tricky. We were in sort of a missionary position, with my ankles near his shoulders. Next time, we would put a pillow or two under my hips.

It felt good- kind of overwhelming. After a while of delicious exploratory pumping, we got out the hitachi and I came almost instantaneously, really hard. Right after I came, it became a little much for me and I was ready for things to wrap up. Carter came too, and slowly slid out of me. It was incredibly intense. My body wouldn’t stop spasming.

I felt like I had just eaten an entire cake. It was too much. I just kept spasming and shuddering.

As soon as I came down, we did a play-by-play.

His Take
Carter liked it. He said the pouch around his balls prevented them from slapping against my body, which was disappointing. He said he couldn’t feel a huge difference between just fucking my ass and fucking it with this on. Really? REALLY? I cannot believe it.

My Take
It was like eating a whole cake. It felt awesome. But I really want to try it doggy style with him in my cunt and a toy in my ass- maybe something more textured or something that vibrates. But it was good.

In Conclusion:
This toy is awesome. It has some drawbacks- like the placement of the holes so that he has to be on bottom. Really though, this is an issue with anatomy, rather than the toy. If the toy were on bottom, it would mash against his balls. But it is something to consider with positioning.

I’m super impressed, overall. This is definitely not an every day toy, but is faaaaabulous for anyone who wants a crazy intense and intimate double penetration experience.

Oh, and for the record, I impatiently tried it solo strapped to a pillow. It was an immense failure. It really needs a body to pull back. I recommend against it.

Spareparts Deuce Harness, you get 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Thank you, Babeland, for sending me this insanely awesome product in exchange for a fair and honest review!

And thanks, Carter, for helping me out with my testing. FOR SCIENCE!